The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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