It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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