He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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