Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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