The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
