this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
