i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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