VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
