i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I bet he comes in French.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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