Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Two words: blizzard sex
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
