he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
