no, he came in my armpit
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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