Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
