Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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