I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
