She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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