So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
