Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
