wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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