too bad you live with your parents still
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
