well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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