Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
