YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize