the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights