Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.