So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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