Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
