You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i came on her dog
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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