I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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