k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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