Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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