you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
People with herpes should wear stickers.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
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why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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