When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I've blown a few things in my day
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
