why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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