my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
