You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
