are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
