I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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