just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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