Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
