So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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