guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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