i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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