normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
