bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize