His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
