wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
