You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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