The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
