I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
