Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
someone owes me an orgasm
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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