shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
