I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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