How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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