let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
