You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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