Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
