if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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