i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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