speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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