Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
