I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
