why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
