I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
this boner is exhausting
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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