a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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