Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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