She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
