he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize