I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize