today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize