There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
