I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
