She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
