i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
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the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
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I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.