Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?