its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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